Soluble Family Man

My family who love me, at least they say they do (and I simply must believe them in order to go on at all), have yet to notice how I am slowly disappearing from their lives. Their lives mind, not their memories or thoughts of me. On the practical day-to-day stuff, I am becoming less visible, less intrinsic, so very unnecessary. They are getting on and doing just fine without me. It is as if I am like that loose thread on a coat button: you see me there still holding the button on, but barely. You know you should give me some attention, but as I am still holding the button on for now, well, the button is still on, so no need for now! One day when you try and do your coat up you find only the remnants of the thread, no button, and the coat whilst not useless is one button less efficient. You knew it would happen but you took it for granted, forgot about it in the hum drum days and you didn’t notice what you’d lost until you needed it again. But even then, you may think, it is easily replaceable. I am thread bare. My use is temporary and will soon be forgotten. After my sperm and a few quid, I haven’t been much use, so not so much merely replaceable as entirely expendable… except in principle! No one really wants to grow up without a dad, or wants to have to bring up kids without a partner. But that’s for psychological appearances – in my case it shouldn’t in reality make a difference exactly because I have never made a difference. And that is something. It is a kind of achievement. It is a sort of success, isn’t it?